Do your children have chores?

luvkadcl · 02-11-2010, 01:03 PM

We have started to have the children do chores again. Before I had my lo they did chores a couple of times a week. I would change the chores to keep it interesting and to help them learn new skills. Cleaning is a skill, right?? Anyway, after the baby was born the chores ended for some reason. More focus on the baby I guess. So most of the work was left to me. About 3 months ago I decided that I was just too overwhelmed having to "do it all" myself. We have tried different ways of doing this chore chart and it isn't working too well. I always end up asking if they did their chores. Most of the time they have not. The rule was not computer or tv until your chores and breakfast were done. It does not happen without a fight.

How do you do it? I would love some chore chart sites. Thanks!!

Cindy

Angela · 02-11-2010, 01:17 PM

No charts here. They have two chores each. The oldest sets the table for dinner and cleans the cat pan twice a day. The youngest empties the dishwasher and feeds the dog twice a day. Plus they do what ever they are told to do. (that sounds meaner than it should) Sometimes they have to sweep and wipe the stairs or vaccuum. Things like that as requested.
They also have expectations. They are expected to keep their rooms clean. They are expected to make their bed every day. They are expected to get ready for school on their own, brush their teeth before bed, do their homework, get good grades, clear their place at the table after eating ... stuff like that.
They are good kids. There isn't a lot of nagging. Usually a "have you done your job today?" is all that is needed. (or for feeding the dog: "What time is it?" is all I have to ask) there has only been a threat of a consequence (loss of computer) but so far, no consequences have been needed for consistently missed chores.
They have had expectations for as long as they could do it, but the chores started at around 6 or so...and have changed over time.

luvkadcl · 02-11-2010, 01:29 PM

I would like to do what you do. That is how it had been in the past. But when I would ask for someone to vacuum or dust I would get, "That's not fair that you asked me not ..." So the chore chart was to hopefully get rid of the unfair treatment feeling. I just can't seem to get them to stick to it without me reminding them every single day. I could see for the first week or two it would take some getting use to but I think they just keep testing me to see how much they can get away with.That or they are just plain lazy

!! I have done the consequences and I get a lot of anger as a result of it. I have a hard time sticking to the consequences. I will say no computer today and by the evening I give in. I don't know how to be strong and keep my word.

Cindy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angela

No charts here. They have two chores each. The oldest sets the table for dinner and cleans the cat pan twice a day. The youngest empties the dishwasher and feeds the dog twice a day. Plus they do what ever they are told to do. (that sounds meaner than it should) Sometimes they have to sweep and wipe the stairs or vaccuum. Things like that as requested.
They also have expectations. They are expected to keep their rooms clean. They are expected to make their bed every day. They are expected to get ready for school on their own, brush their teeth before bed, do their homework, get good grades, clear their place at the table after eating ... stuff like that.
They are good kids. There isn't a lot of nagging. Usually a "have you done your job today?" is all that is needed. (or for feeding the dog: "What time is it?" is all I have to ask) there has only been a threat of a consequence (loss of computer) but so far, no consequences have been needed for consistently missed chores.
They have had expectations for as long as they could do it, but the chores started at around 6 or so...and have changed over time.

Angela · 02-11-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvkadcl

"That's not fair that you asked me not ..."
Cindy

I've gotten that too. "Why do I have to do it? She uses it too!" I just respond with "You live here you can contribute once in a while." and don't leave it open for discussion. But I think my kids are older than yours. Little ones are harder to reason with.

Wow. I sound really b*tchy. I don't think I am.... I hope I'm not! Some things just aren't up for debate. 'Cause I'm the Mom and I said so.

(I've used that line too!

)

And now for some unsolicited advice.

The easiest way (I find) to be strong and keep your word is to know what you can (or will) follow through on. The kids will learn fast (if they haven't already) that Mom never follows through with consequences, and it is not big deal if Mom gets mad. Only "threaten" what you know you will follow through on. Or... in other words, don't make promises you can't keep. Try altering your consequences to things that you know you can stick with. And look away when they pout! If you don't see it, it can't affect you!

luvkadcl · 02-16-2010, 06:37 AM

bumping this in hopes of finding some cool chore charts.
Thanks
Cindy

MCP · 02-16-2010, 09:00 AM

Chore Charts here I have a white board that I write there chores on. Each week I change the chores for each day plus they have their normal daily chores like doing home work. It works really well and they sign off as they are done.

Handipoints.com is a great place for chore charts and more. Also they have fun things for the kids to do if they complete all their chores. They can adopt a pet and dress them up and more.

auxi · 02-17-2010, 05:04 PM

I haven't got any chore-chart sites to mention, but I bet you could make a chart yourself. When I was younger me and my siblings had our own separate charts, with about 10 pockets on each chart. Each day my mom would drop one chore in each pocket (like wash dishes, do a load of laundry, vacuum house, etc.; and some would be the everyday stuff, like make your bed). For every day that we finished our chores, we got a 'buck' to spend at the end of the week on something from the prize bag. The prizes weren't much, maybe a coloring book or crayons, something from the dollar store; and it might take 3 'bucks' to buy one thing, so it wasn't expensive. I remember acting like I hated the chore chart, but inside I really loved it.

Winter · 02-17-2010, 09:07 PM

My nearly 4 yo DD sorts and bags the recycling, brings her folded laundry to her room, and feeds the dog & cat.
My 13 you DD babysits, takes the garbage & recycling to the curb, does the dishes, and her own laundry. Sometimes she folds the laundry and vacuums.
We don't have a chart, but when things get backed up, we write a list and everyone chooses something to do until most of it is done.

Amanda · 02-17-2010, 09:24 PM

I am such a control freak, my kids don't do chores

They do however each have there own Melissa and Doug magnetic chore chart. It would work well if we actually used them.

mamakaty · 02-17-2010, 09:53 PM

The only system that I've found that worked well for us, was the Accountable Kids system. We've tried making our own chore charts, printing them, etc and we tend to spend more time making them than actually using them. The AK system worked for us, because it put the responsibility on him to check to see what needed to be done. Instead of saying "do x,y and z" I could say "go check your board!". And it has a built in reward system as well.

Now, having said that we got away from using it for a while, and my dh and I were just talking yesterday about how we need to get it going again. I did purchase start up kit that includes the book, board and cards. It's more of a system than just a chore chart.