If you're not crazy about the colors, what about amigurumi (toys)? I know you said you can barely read patterns, but if you know how to crochet in the round, it shouldn't be too hard. It's all single crochet. If you're unsure - maybe start with an egg pattern for Easter.
Lion Brand has a lot of cute, free patterns. One of their lion patterns (
http://www.lionbrand.com/patterns/70...html?noImages=) is like a little square pillow. I made one in "regular" colors, and another one that I nicknamed Mint Monster, so you could really do it in any color!